using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize