I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
