Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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