next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
