So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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