O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
