oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
love makes seman taste better
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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