if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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