i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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