How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize