I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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