Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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