Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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