would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
