I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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