Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Randomize
