Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
