she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
