chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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