he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
