Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
