So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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