Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
