So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
