Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The adults are the big ones right?
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