Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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