Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize