there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize