Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She said her name was "party"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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