I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
