apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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