I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
