you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
