so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
