There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
