Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
