When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
