hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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