Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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