I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
