I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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