WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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