Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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