At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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