Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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