woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
