so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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