I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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