It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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