Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
