i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
