The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
