never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize