She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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