I wish i was in the wii world.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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