if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
