i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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