Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
