i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
