Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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