Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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