I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?