i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.