If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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